I don't know. I really don't.
I've been gone. I'm sitting here, in my room, in solitude, watching a bowl of ice cream disappear a few minutes before I want to go to sleep. I look in the mirror and see that the protrusion of my gut is larger than the length of my forearm. I check up on an old, seemingly abandoned blog...scroll to the bottom and see that I haven't made any progress...any progress at all from when I first posted here in July of last year.
I think of where I would be now if I had stayed on track. Really, I think of this about a lot of things. Where would I be today if I never put down the guitar a few years ago? Where would I be today if I finished reading that book about Linux in the 7th grade? Where would I be today if I never met some of the friends I have now, or never left some of the friends that I had?
But the weight thing. The size thing. It's something that's been bothering me. Where would I be now if I hadn't stopped going to the gym and working out on a semi-regular basis.
You know I lost two belt notches from the time that I joined the gym to the time that I stopped posting? That I was starting to feel more and more confident, that I could look in the mirror and actually start to see my traps?
You know that now I have to sit at my desk a certain way to keep my khakis from digging into my thighs? That I have to always be the driver, because riding shotgun in my friends '96 Civic means my legs have to be so close together that I might actually pop a testicle under the pressure?
You know what my biggest excuse for not going to the gym was? That leaving my gym clothes in my car all day would make them uncomfortably cold by the time I had to change in to them.
Over the past month my Warcraft addiction resurfaced. I started a Blood Elf Paladin a few weeks ago and he's now at level 51. FIFTY-FREAKIN-ONE. Where would I be now if I spent that much time on an elliptical.
What the hell am I doing with myself.
Reddit, WebMD, and everyone else whose gotten this link -- it's time. It's time for change. It's time for action. It's time for The Skinny. It's time to make 2.5 equal 1.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Progress?
So I haven't been going to the gym as often as I'd like...in fact, I've been working more lately so I really haven't had the time (and I hate saying that, too...)
But I still think I'm seeing some progress. I'm a little ways off from having to add a notch to my belt. Not quite there yet, but getting there.
Today, I was flexing in the mirror when I was getting ready for work, and I swear I'm starting to see definition in my shoulders. That's a big confidence booster. Just like last time I was going to the gym, when I was 18, the first muscle I saw "definition" in was my traps, and even then it was really motivational.
Tomorrow I'm working a 12 hour shift but I think I'm going to go to the gym afterwords anyway. I've really taken a liking to the elliptical machines. They are very low impact and they still get my heart running and I feel great when I get off of them, plus I think they also exercise lower body muscles more. One of the downsides of weighing so much is that walking 1-2 miles on a treadmill can be painful and a lot of stress on my knees, but I don't get that with the elliptical.
But I still think I'm seeing some progress. I'm a little ways off from having to add a notch to my belt. Not quite there yet, but getting there.
Today, I was flexing in the mirror when I was getting ready for work, and I swear I'm starting to see definition in my shoulders. That's a big confidence booster. Just like last time I was going to the gym, when I was 18, the first muscle I saw "definition" in was my traps, and even then it was really motivational.
Tomorrow I'm working a 12 hour shift but I think I'm going to go to the gym afterwords anyway. I've really taken a liking to the elliptical machines. They are very low impact and they still get my heart running and I feel great when I get off of them, plus I think they also exercise lower body muscles more. One of the downsides of weighing so much is that walking 1-2 miles on a treadmill can be painful and a lot of stress on my knees, but I don't get that with the elliptical.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Still in
Wow, so it's been a month since I've updated.
I haven't been to the gym in a couple of weeks. Upsetting? Not really. The weather has been amazing lately, so I've been spending a lot of time out there. Today was still a really nice day but I felt like going to the gym anyway.
I feel great. I've got more energy, my mind feels sharper, and even when I'm physically exhausted and burnt out I still feel fantastic.
This whole "exercise" thing beats lethargy anyday. Really, why I've let myself slip so far into such a shape as I'm in now, I may never understand.
So in a couple of weeks, I'm going to have health insurance again. I haven't had insurance in well over a year, so I think as soon as that comes in I'll be scheduling myself for a physical. I'd REALLY like to know how much I weigh now, and get some bloodwork done to determine my cholesterol and whatnot.
I went to give blood last week and the nurse at the blood center said I have "perfect" blood pressure. Which is great, because last time I gave in February, they noted that my blood pressure was a little high. Downside: I couldn't give double-units of red blood cells because my Iron was a little bit low. Up until I heard that, I've always thought I was in great health despite being more than double my ideal weight and smoking two packs a day.
So...what else is new...
After the nurse noted that my iron is a little bit low, I decided to start taking supplements. No, I'm not taking Creatine or Hydroxycut or anything like that (although, when I was 16, back when Hydroxycut had Ephedrine in it, I lost a *ton* of weight combining that with diet and exercise) . I started taking a daily multivitamin with iron, plus a daily Vitamin E supplement (for my bad skin) as well as 3x 1200mg Fish Oil caps and 3x St. John's Wort caps. I've been taking these for almost a week now and I think I'm noticing some differences, though it may be psychological. My skin is clearing up a bit, my dandruff has cleared up almost entirely, my hair actually has a nice luster to it, I'm full of pep (I only have to hit 'snooze' once now!), and I notice myself smiling with my head held high a lot more often. Some of these things may be due to the sudden shift in diet and exercise though.
I've got shirts I bought at the Big & Tall a month ago that fit better now than they did the day I bought them, and they were 100% cotton! I've gone down 1.5 belt notches (man, if there's anything that's always been a missed blessing when losing weight, it's been being in between belt notches).
All in all, I'm feeling fan-effing-tastic. Sorry I haven't been around to update lately though. Oh, and I almost forgot...I'll be posting an updated picture soon, but I left my camera in my car and it's currently at the mechanic's being worked on. A reason to post!
I haven't been to the gym in a couple of weeks. Upsetting? Not really. The weather has been amazing lately, so I've been spending a lot of time out there. Today was still a really nice day but I felt like going to the gym anyway.
I feel great. I've got more energy, my mind feels sharper, and even when I'm physically exhausted and burnt out I still feel fantastic.
This whole "exercise" thing beats lethargy anyday. Really, why I've let myself slip so far into such a shape as I'm in now, I may never understand.
So in a couple of weeks, I'm going to have health insurance again. I haven't had insurance in well over a year, so I think as soon as that comes in I'll be scheduling myself for a physical. I'd REALLY like to know how much I weigh now, and get some bloodwork done to determine my cholesterol and whatnot.
I went to give blood last week and the nurse at the blood center said I have "perfect" blood pressure. Which is great, because last time I gave in February, they noted that my blood pressure was a little high. Downside: I couldn't give double-units of red blood cells because my Iron was a little bit low. Up until I heard that, I've always thought I was in great health despite being more than double my ideal weight and smoking two packs a day.
So...what else is new...
After the nurse noted that my iron is a little bit low, I decided to start taking supplements. No, I'm not taking Creatine or Hydroxycut or anything like that (although, when I was 16, back when Hydroxycut had Ephedrine in it, I lost a *ton* of weight combining that with diet and exercise) . I started taking a daily multivitamin with iron, plus a daily Vitamin E supplement (for my bad skin) as well as 3x 1200mg Fish Oil caps and 3x St. John's Wort caps. I've been taking these for almost a week now and I think I'm noticing some differences, though it may be psychological. My skin is clearing up a bit, my dandruff has cleared up almost entirely, my hair actually has a nice luster to it, I'm full of pep (I only have to hit 'snooze' once now!), and I notice myself smiling with my head held high a lot more often. Some of these things may be due to the sudden shift in diet and exercise though.
I've got shirts I bought at the Big & Tall a month ago that fit better now than they did the day I bought them, and they were 100% cotton! I've gone down 1.5 belt notches (man, if there's anything that's always been a missed blessing when losing weight, it's been being in between belt notches).
All in all, I'm feeling fan-effing-tastic. Sorry I haven't been around to update lately though. Oh, and I almost forgot...I'll be posting an updated picture soon, but I left my camera in my car and it's currently at the mechanic's being worked on. A reason to post!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Not Slipping.
I haven't spent as much time at the gym as I wanted to last week. That being said, I spent a lot more time at the gym last week than I have in the past year combined. But that's part of the point of this blog. That's part of the reason I don't have a hit counter. I don't want to know how many people view this site, I'd rather it be a secret to me. This blog is as much, if not more, about motivating myself because people are watching, than it is to motviate others in its process.
I went 5 days out of the past 7. That's not bad. I only lifted twice, mostly because my arms were so unbelievably sore. I didn't go today because of a skin condition on my upper-right torso...it's very painful and swollen and it limits the range of motion of my right arm to about "OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP" when my arm is out in front of me and elbow bent.. It rhymes with foil.
As I go forward on working out, I will probably be spending most my time with cardio and upper body work. As I've said before, I don't want a huge massive body-builders body. I want to be evenly toned. I want to have a good body waiting for me when the pounds are off. My upper-body is pretty weak, but I'm fairly certain my lower body won't need much work...it takes a lot to carry me around, you know. I can flex my lower legs and feel that below my knees it is mostly muscle and let me tell you, they are huge. So I don't want to have disproportionally large glutes and quads when I get closer to my target weight.
If this 'foil' doesn't get better tomorrow, I'm going to have a visit with the doctor at 3:30 to have him look at it and maybe give me some antibiotic for it.
In other news, I've noticed my body adjusting to the change in nutrition already. My appetite has decreased a lot. I don't crave my nightly ice cream, my lunches are about 1/4 the size they used to be and a fruit or serving of cashews/trail mix in the late afternoon tends to get me through the day nicely. (My breakfast tends to be around 4:30 AM now, my lunch before 11, and my mid-afternoon pick-me-up at around 1:30). My parents say they can notice a difference but I honestly don't know if they are just saying that because they are my parents. I know my clothes don't fit any better and I haven't lost a knotch on my belt yet. I know that these two things are the only gauges I have of my weight loss, because it's almost impossible to find a scale that will accomodate me.
I went 5 days out of the past 7. That's not bad. I only lifted twice, mostly because my arms were so unbelievably sore. I didn't go today because of a skin condition on my upper-right torso...it's very painful and swollen and it limits the range of motion of my right arm to about "OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP" when my arm is out in front of me and elbow bent.. It rhymes with foil.
As I go forward on working out, I will probably be spending most my time with cardio and upper body work. As I've said before, I don't want a huge massive body-builders body. I want to be evenly toned. I want to have a good body waiting for me when the pounds are off. My upper-body is pretty weak, but I'm fairly certain my lower body won't need much work...it takes a lot to carry me around, you know. I can flex my lower legs and feel that below my knees it is mostly muscle and let me tell you, they are huge. So I don't want to have disproportionally large glutes and quads when I get closer to my target weight.
If this 'foil' doesn't get better tomorrow, I'm going to have a visit with the doctor at 3:30 to have him look at it and maybe give me some antibiotic for it.
In other news, I've noticed my body adjusting to the change in nutrition already. My appetite has decreased a lot. I don't crave my nightly ice cream, my lunches are about 1/4 the size they used to be and a fruit or serving of cashews/trail mix in the late afternoon tends to get me through the day nicely. (My breakfast tends to be around 4:30 AM now, my lunch before 11, and my mid-afternoon pick-me-up at around 1:30). My parents say they can notice a difference but I honestly don't know if they are just saying that because they are my parents. I know my clothes don't fit any better and I haven't lost a knotch on my belt yet. I know that these two things are the only gauges I have of my weight loss, because it's almost impossible to find a scale that will accomodate me.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
THE PAIN
Ow.
I mentioned yesterday about the soreness in my arms. Well, by mid-afternoon that had mostly subdued...went to the gym yesterday for cardio and a little legs and abs (turns out I'm too big to fit most the leg + ab machines).
Only really did a few exercises. But by the time it was time to go to sleep again, my arms were incredibly sore. Worse then when I woke up. This morning, I could barely move them...in fact, I had trouble eating my cantaloupe. Then, to make matters worse, my pellet delivery came in and the guy only had a palletjack, so if I didn't stack them, the car wouldn't be able to use the garage until I did.
Great. So with my inability to move my arms, I've got 4 pallets of pellets, each one ton, to move and stack. Really, that wasn't so bad...but my arms are certainly painful now that that's done with.
I was planning on working arms and chest again today, but I doubt I have it in me. I might just do a lot of cardio when I go to the gym today, and of course take the dog for a 1 or 2 mile walk after dinner. He seems to really enjoy the longer walks (used to take him about half a mile, maybe a bit less) and he's behaving a lot more on them.
I mentioned yesterday about the soreness in my arms. Well, by mid-afternoon that had mostly subdued...went to the gym yesterday for cardio and a little legs and abs (turns out I'm too big to fit most the leg + ab machines).
Only really did a few exercises. But by the time it was time to go to sleep again, my arms were incredibly sore. Worse then when I woke up. This morning, I could barely move them...in fact, I had trouble eating my cantaloupe. Then, to make matters worse, my pellet delivery came in and the guy only had a palletjack, so if I didn't stack them, the car wouldn't be able to use the garage until I did.
Great. So with my inability to move my arms, I've got 4 pallets of pellets, each one ton, to move and stack. Really, that wasn't so bad...but my arms are certainly painful now that that's done with.
I was planning on working arms and chest again today, but I doubt I have it in me. I might just do a lot of cardio when I go to the gym today, and of course take the dog for a 1 or 2 mile walk after dinner. He seems to really enjoy the longer walks (used to take him about half a mile, maybe a bit less) and he's behaving a lot more on them.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The Gym
So I joined a gym last night.
Just as I had mentioned, Next Level fitness in Scituate, RI. They have another branch right down the street from where I work, too...which I'll probably go to tonight.
I did work out last night though, and right now my arms are so sore that it hurts to scratch my head. It's a good kind of hurt, though. I did cardio, chest, upper arm, and shoulders.
Tonight I'll be going to the gym to do cardio, abs, and legs. Hopefully by tomorrow I won't be able to walk.
Exercise really brings out a persons inner-most masochist.
Just as I had mentioned, Next Level fitness in Scituate, RI. They have another branch right down the street from where I work, too...which I'll probably go to tonight.
I did work out last night though, and right now my arms are so sore that it hurts to scratch my head. It's a good kind of hurt, though. I did cardio, chest, upper arm, and shoulders.
Tonight I'll be going to the gym to do cardio, abs, and legs. Hopefully by tomorrow I won't be able to walk.
Exercise really brings out a persons inner-most masochist.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The Story
So you've seen the start.
Here's the story.
As I've said before, I've been overweight most of my life. I've never liked being overweight, I just never really imagined myself as being someone slim. I've lost weight in the past, but it's always ended up coming back on. There was never anybody there to give me a swift kick in the ass till it was just too late.
And even now, there won't be anyone to kick me in the ass until it is too late. But I don't want it to be too late. Never again.
You've seen my profile shot below. Disgusting, isn't it? And if I don't start doing something now, it'll get worse.
A bit of back story. I mentioned that last time I weighed in, I was at 452lbs. Well, that's one thing. Here's another...when I weighed in, it was just after I lost my last job. I was a manager at a RadioShack store in Warwick, Rhode Island. Despite what you may think about Radio Shack, the job was really pretty friggen stressful. I'm a licensed ham radio operator so I know a thing or two about electronics...I have an FCC license that says I understand concepts, principals, and formulas that would make most people feint upon seeing, and I got that license at age 8 (for those following, this was my Technician Plus license. I didn't get my Advanced license till age 13). So to be looked upon as an idiot by every Tom, Dick, and Harry that came in the store kind of got to me after a while. Then there was all the pressure from above to outperform Best Buy in a 2000sqft footprint. These are the things that led me to RadioShackSucks.com, and upon its closure, to become a moderator on www.RadioShackSucks.biz.
Anyways, I left that job after two and a half years. If the threats from above and belittlement from the customers weren't enough, the 60-70 hour weeks were surely going to kill me eventually, especially for a 28k salary. At the time, I had another job lined up with a company called ATS Mobile Electronics. However, halfway between leaving RadioShack and starting at ATS, I get a call saying ATS has been bought out by AT&T and all pending hires are cancelled. Now I am officially unemployed, and as such I remained for roughly a year while I looked for a new job.
To be honest, I probably could have found work earlier if I really tried. But I didn't want to try. The doctor prescribed me Chantix to help me quit smoking not long after I left RS. While it did help me quit smoking, it also left me really, REALLY depressed...to the point that I stopped talking to friends entirely, stopped talking to my parents, really, I just stopped talking to just about anybody. My only contact with the outside world was through World of Warcraft. It wasn't until about a month and a half ago that I started feeling better, which was several months after I stopped taking the Chantix. Even now, I'm not feeling 100% normal, but I'm feeling a hell of a lot better than I used to.
So not having a job, combined with depression, led to a pretty sedentary lifestyle. Very sedentary, actually. As a fine example, when I lost my job I had a 68 mage and a 35 priest. When I started working again, which was almost one year to the day after I quit, I had a 70 mage and a 70 priest, both in full epics. I also had a 70 hunter and a 62 druid, as well as a few characters that were leveled up to mid-30s. Like I said, I barely ever left my room. It was just me, by myself, almost constantly. After a while I even started planning my sleep around the times when I knew my parents wouldn't be home, just so I could avoid talking to them.
My last weigh-in was over a year ago. I'm sure I've gained a bit by then just by the sedentary lifestyle. Even with my new job, I'm going to be fairly still...I'm working in a call center answering calls at the Tech Support Help Desk for CVS. At least now I'll have an income, so I'll be able to afford to eat somewhat healthier and also buy a gym membership.
I'm thinking about joining at NextLevel Fitness, they have two branches nearby...one right down the street from my house, and one right down the street from my work. Can't get much better than that. And they also have "no-contract" plans, which could work well for me because I am technically a temp and as such I'd be the first to be laid-off...and the gym would probably be the first expense to be cut. But it's only $49 to join and $30/month...I paid more than that each week in cigarettes.
Till then we shall see...I'm open to exercise and diet suggestions in the meantime. I don't think I want to try gimmick diets anymore. Low-carb worked well but it was hardly sustainable for the long-term. I'm half-Italian...I love bread and pasta and this will never change...it's hardcoded in my DNA. I think a core part of my diet will be in moderation, as I am pretty used to large portions. I also think I'm going to try to cut out High Fructose Corn Syrup, from what I've been reading it seems like just about anything that has that in it shouldn't really be considered "food". Also, I will probably be cutting back a lot on the soda in favor of filtered tap water. This I've already started doing.
Now if only I can kick this damn Altoid habbit.
Here's the story.
As I've said before, I've been overweight most of my life. I've never liked being overweight, I just never really imagined myself as being someone slim. I've lost weight in the past, but it's always ended up coming back on. There was never anybody there to give me a swift kick in the ass till it was just too late.
And even now, there won't be anyone to kick me in the ass until it is too late. But I don't want it to be too late. Never again.
You've seen my profile shot below. Disgusting, isn't it? And if I don't start doing something now, it'll get worse.
A bit of back story. I mentioned that last time I weighed in, I was at 452lbs. Well, that's one thing. Here's another...when I weighed in, it was just after I lost my last job. I was a manager at a RadioShack store in Warwick, Rhode Island. Despite what you may think about Radio Shack, the job was really pretty friggen stressful. I'm a licensed ham radio operator so I know a thing or two about electronics...I have an FCC license that says I understand concepts, principals, and formulas that would make most people feint upon seeing, and I got that license at age 8 (for those following, this was my Technician Plus license. I didn't get my Advanced license till age 13). So to be looked upon as an idiot by every Tom, Dick, and Harry that came in the store kind of got to me after a while. Then there was all the pressure from above to outperform Best Buy in a 2000sqft footprint. These are the things that led me to RadioShackSucks.com, and upon its closure, to become a moderator on www.RadioShackSucks.biz.
Anyways, I left that job after two and a half years. If the threats from above and belittlement from the customers weren't enough, the 60-70 hour weeks were surely going to kill me eventually, especially for a 28k salary. At the time, I had another job lined up with a company called ATS Mobile Electronics. However, halfway between leaving RadioShack and starting at ATS, I get a call saying ATS has been bought out by AT&T and all pending hires are cancelled. Now I am officially unemployed, and as such I remained for roughly a year while I looked for a new job.
To be honest, I probably could have found work earlier if I really tried. But I didn't want to try. The doctor prescribed me Chantix to help me quit smoking not long after I left RS. While it did help me quit smoking, it also left me really, REALLY depressed...to the point that I stopped talking to friends entirely, stopped talking to my parents, really, I just stopped talking to just about anybody. My only contact with the outside world was through World of Warcraft. It wasn't until about a month and a half ago that I started feeling better, which was several months after I stopped taking the Chantix. Even now, I'm not feeling 100% normal, but I'm feeling a hell of a lot better than I used to.
So not having a job, combined with depression, led to a pretty sedentary lifestyle. Very sedentary, actually. As a fine example, when I lost my job I had a 68 mage and a 35 priest. When I started working again, which was almost one year to the day after I quit, I had a 70 mage and a 70 priest, both in full epics. I also had a 70 hunter and a 62 druid, as well as a few characters that were leveled up to mid-30s. Like I said, I barely ever left my room. It was just me, by myself, almost constantly. After a while I even started planning my sleep around the times when I knew my parents wouldn't be home, just so I could avoid talking to them.
My last weigh-in was over a year ago. I'm sure I've gained a bit by then just by the sedentary lifestyle. Even with my new job, I'm going to be fairly still...I'm working in a call center answering calls at the Tech Support Help Desk for CVS. At least now I'll have an income, so I'll be able to afford to eat somewhat healthier and also buy a gym membership.
I'm thinking about joining at NextLevel Fitness, they have two branches nearby...one right down the street from my house, and one right down the street from my work. Can't get much better than that. And they also have "no-contract" plans, which could work well for me because I am technically a temp and as such I'd be the first to be laid-off...and the gym would probably be the first expense to be cut. But it's only $49 to join and $30/month...I paid more than that each week in cigarettes.
Till then we shall see...I'm open to exercise and diet suggestions in the meantime. I don't think I want to try gimmick diets anymore. Low-carb worked well but it was hardly sustainable for the long-term. I'm half-Italian...I love bread and pasta and this will never change...it's hardcoded in my DNA. I think a core part of my diet will be in moderation, as I am pretty used to large portions. I also think I'm going to try to cut out High Fructose Corn Syrup, from what I've been reading it seems like just about anything that has that in it shouldn't really be considered "food". Also, I will probably be cutting back a lot on the soda in favor of filtered tap water. This I've already started doing.
Now if only I can kick this damn Altoid habbit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)